Long Time

Yeah, it's been a long time, I know it. I had to give myself a typing break. I dropped out of NaMoWriMo after 27,000 words because my hands, fingers, and wrists hurt so badly. I have such bad carpal tunnel now that I've had to seriously limit the typing time. Right now I had to do something else besides almost falling asleep while watching Iowa play dismally against Missouri in the Insight Bowl. Yes, Iowa did not get a BCS bowl game this year. They started the season ranked #9 and then ended up losing 5 games,I think it was. Pathetic. They started this game great, and then come third quarter, it just went downhill.
On Monday I start my pre-nursing classes. I haven't been to an on-campus college class for years, and I pray that I'm not the oldest person in the class! Oh well, at least I don't feel old! It will be fun to go back to college.
I promise to get back to this more, as time allows. I never thought being the Mom of a school-age child would be so busy!
Ok, now Iowa redeemed themselves with an AWESOME touchdown! Maybe there is hope for this game yet! 5 minutes to go! GO HAWKS!

National Write a Novel Month

I know that I've been away from this, but it will have to wait until December. I am officially a participant in "National Write a Novel" month, which means that I have a goal of 50,000 words by the end of the month. Right now I am at almost 13,000, so I have a ways to go. I've committed to doing this, so I don't plan on writing anything else this month unless I do a quick update. I figure if I write at least 10 pages a day, I should be able to meet my goal!

15

Last month I started getting the 8mm film that my Mom took of us when we were kids. Boy, is that stuff expensive to get converted to DVD! It's worth every penny, though. Just getting to see and hear my parents again is priceless. So far, I have watched 2 of the 4 DVDs that were completed. One was from camcorder film from 1990-1991, and that included my 15th birthday. Some of my relatives were there, and Kevin filmed me opening presents. It was January, 1991. When I think back to that year, I realized just how much happened to me that year; how my entire life would change that spring and summer. It was my freshman year in high school, and I didn't have that many friends the first semester due to the new school. The "spring of 15" would bring my first season on the badminton team and meeting a bunch of new friends, most of whom I am still in touch with today. The "summer of 15" would change my life forever. We moved out of the rental house that my parents had rented for the lease was up, and they hadn't found anything yet so we spent the next 4 months living at Hawthorn Suites Hotel. This is how I met my first boyfriend, Todd. It was one of the best summers ever- being with friends, going to Six Flags a few times a week,taking my first college course, hanging out with Todd... until... my Mom filed for divorce. This was quite a shocker as us kids had no idea this was going to happen. It immediately distanced us from our Father and this was tough. He brought it out on me and unconventionally ended my relationship with Todd. Sophomore year came, which was great to be busy again and in October, I fell in love with Bruce, who I would end up dating for 3 years. That was 15. It is just so weird to see the footage from that 15th birthday, seeing me opening presents and having absolutely no idea what was in store for me that year.

Activities

Fall is officially in full swing! Rilee began nature preschool today. Wow, how I wish I attended a preschool like this one! It is at the nature park where Hunter has attended nature camp for a couple of summers. There are only ten kids in the class, 2 days a week. They go on a hike every day, and today they also read a story, sang, and played. She loved it and had no problems being left there.
Then, Hunter had his first cross country practice today after school. He enjoyed running with the other kids. Made me tired just watching it. They have 4 meets and the first one is next week. Hunter also has his first Cub Scouts (Tiger Cubs) meeting tonight. Kevin did it when he was little and loved it. I still have mixed feelings because of the way the Boy Scouts exclude homosexuals from leadership positions, but as long as Kevin is okay with it I will let him do it. I think he will have fun, especially with the outdoor opportunities here in Oregon.

10,000 Words

Today I will hit the 10,000 word mark in my manuscript. I have spent the last few days trying to write whenever possible. It's hard with 3 kids and 2 dogs in the house... I only could imagine what I could accomplish if it was possible to write in silence, even if only for an hour. This is the way it must be done, so be it!

Drama

I hate being involved in drama, but once again it is following me. For most of high school, I had a great group of friends. I had a couple of best friends, one who I had a falling out with the summer before our senior year of high school. I never really knew what she was upset with, but I have two possible ideas. I broke up with my boyfriend of 2 years, who she was also friends with. I hurt him a great deal and yes, I was sorry about it, but I was 17 years old and wanted to date other people. I had had a boyfriend for almost all of high school and I was young and didn't want to be tied down. I didn't date anyone until a month before I graduated from high school. This was the second reason that she could possibly be upset- it was her ex-boyfriend. The thing is, though, it she had been with someone else for 2 years by this time, so it would make no sense why she would be upset. She broke up with this guy, not the other way around.
Well, for whatever reason it is, she is still angry with me to this day and it is almost 17 years later! I have been trying to reconnect with her, have apologized for whatever I did, and all of this is to no avail. It's sad that she has to be like this. She was a great person- something must have changed her to become like this. At least I am the bigger person for trying.

Dream Project

I wrote more in high school than I do now (although that is rapidly changing). In the summer of 1993 when I had just finished my junior year of high school, I selected 8 of my good friends to help me with what I call my "Dream Project." I had them each write about their dreams, their idea of a perfect world, what their friends mean to them, how they think of their self as a person, and what they value in life. What I received in return were 8 wonderfully written pieces. Now, over 16 years later, I have asked them to write the same piece for me, seeing how their views have changed over the years. I have kept in contact with 7 of the 8 people, some more than others. The eighth person and I had a falling out in 1994, but I still sent her the letter asking her to participate. It will be interesting to see who will participate- I have had one acceptance so far. The finished product will be given to all, copied and bound.

Bikes

Today I biked with Hunter for the first time to his school. It is so nice being so close to his school... it is about an 8-10 minute walk or a 2-minute normal-paced bike ride away. I always dreamed of being able to walk to school when I was a kid. At least now I can live that through him! He is doing well on the bike so far. He only recently learned to pedal. The bike he had was one with 12-inch wheels so it was too small to pedal correctly. On Sunday we got both Hunter and Rilee new bikes- Rilee's first. They are a pair of Diamond Back's, just like Kevin and I had when we were young except that these are green and pink. Really nice bikes. I've been trying to get a ride in on my bike daily (doctor's orders). The first day I overdid it- I went a little too far in our neighborhood (which is huge), ended up by the golf course, and then got stuck with hills that kicked my ass. I think it was about 3 miles in all. My knees were jello after that one, but it was a gorgeous day and I love riding. My brother and I lived on our bikes when we were kids. I still have the Trek I bought in Iowa City and those are good bikes. I have taken great care of it and it looks almost brand new for being about 10 years old.

Summer Recap

This summer went by so fast because, here in Oregon, the weather wreaked havoc and we had no summer weather until July. I have been so busy with the kids as well, with little time to write. That's why my blog is so far behind.

We began July with our trip to Iowa and Nebraska. It was somewhat of a challenge for me; I was traveling with 3 kids for the first time- ages 6, 3, and 2.5 months. My older kids are seasoned travelers by now... they have traveled by plane many times. It was bringing the baby that was the kicker. Infants require more time and more stuff. We had a fantastic time visiting some of my best friends and spending a day with relatives in Bloomfield. It was also tough because for the first time we were there without Grandma. I think about her every day still. She and I grew close over the last couple of years, and I never had a grandmother. She was a wonderful woman that will never be forgotten.

Getting back from Iowa, our son started his nature and martial arts camps along with continuing his mixed martial arts training. Before we new it, August was already here. I began dealing with my knee, and to update that, I am currently in physical therapy after receiving both cortisone and lubrication injections. A total knee replacement in imminent in the next couple of years. I just want to be able to be more active again for my kids.

Nutrisystem sucks, but at least I gave it a try. For $299 a month, the food sucks. I am just going to do my own thing coupled with the P90, biking, and weights.

At the end of August we rented an RV and went camping for a week in 4 different Oregon state parks. It was absolutely beautiful and so much fun! Oregon has it all: desert, forest, mountains, ocean, and cities. What more could one ask for? Driving up the coast there was a state park every 10 miles! We want to save up for a pull-RV so we can spend more time camping.

That was basically our summer: trips, county fair, day trips, oh, and concerts for me! I saw Warrant, Lady Gaga, and then Queensryche! All were awesome in their own ways. Queensryche is my favorite band as always, and I finally got to meet them this time!

Our son started first grade this week and that is surreal. How did we get a first grader already? So far, so good. He loves it! Our 3 year-old will start nature preschool in 2 weeks and the baby is now 4.5 months old!

I am still busy with 3 kids but will try and make more time for writing. The book is coming along fine and I have another manuscript I want to begin. I am taking a history course for fun this fall as well. Our son still has mixed martial arts and our daughter wants to take ballet. It will be a fun ride!

Football Season

It's my favorite time of year... college football season with my beloved Hawkeyes! The best thing that my Dad ever did for me was suggest that I go to the University of Iowa... it was one of the best periods of my life, and a big part of that was Hawkeye football! There is nothing on earth like sitting in the front row in the student section on game day, feeling the energy of 70,000 fans, and surrounding yourself with nothing but fun and madness! I miss it so much... each Saturday of a home game I get to spend in front of the TV for 3 hours and bring myself back to Kinnick is priceless! One win down... keep it up, Hawkeyes!

The Waiting Game

The saying goes... "Good things come to those who wait." I hope this is true! We should know by Monday if my husband is being transferred to Des Moines, Iowa. We've been waiting to hear about this since the beginning of June when the store was announced. As much as we love Portland, family and friends are in Iowa, as well as more affordable housing and an awesome school system. We really need something to go right after a difficult few years, and hopefully this will be it.

Pictures Say...

With the homecoming of my Mom's stuff, we found a bunch of pictures fom 1990 onward. I haven't looked through all of them yet, but wow, what memories they invoke. High school friends, boyfriend, badminton... many good things and special people. Some whom I have kept in touch with, some I haven't. Then there are all the shots of me that I have to wonder why I wore what I wore that day! Awful... what was I thinking? I have to blame it on the fashion at that time, and the wonderful glam music I still so love.

Reminisce

Today the mover's brought all the stuff that my brother and I decided to save from Mom's estate. It was a year ago in April that she passed away. It is nice to have her things... stuff that was special to her and has special meaning to us. Having photos to look through is great too. It's hard though... not a day goes by when that I don't think of her and getting this stuff brought us happy feelings but sad ones as well. I miss her.

Tired

I am tired of people thinking that a stay-at-home Mom does nothing. What gets me is that I have always worked up until February, when I decided to stay at home with my two kids and the third on the way. I have always been the breadwinner, the one who is taking home more money. I am the one who got my husband into the company he's at. Now I'm being told that I do nothing because I stay at home with a 6 year-old, 3year-old, and a 3-month old. This is 2010. Why is there still that double standard, that notion that a woman is no good for anything but childcare... but then is told that childcare is doing nothing? I have 2 college degrees, I have run my own business, but I choose to be with my children? What is wrong with that?

Nutrisystem

I am sick of being fat. I am hoping that trying Nutrisystem will work for me. I need to try something that is already controlled for me because, face it, I love food too much. I've always loved food. But I was active in high school and most of college... in high school I was a size 6 and I know that I will never be a 6 again, but losing 60 lbs. will make me look and feel a lot better. I am a size 14 now and if can get to an 8 I will be really happy. My knee problems have limited my physical activity in the last 10 years. I can do most of P90 with some variation, so I am going to combine that with Nutrisystem and see how it works. I don't know anyone who has tried Nutrisystem so I am going out on a limb here, but hopefully it is well worth the cost- it is damn expensive!

Osteotomy

I've had three knee surgeries on my left knee: 2 athroscopies and an osteotomy. The osteotomy was performed 11 years ago. It's a big procedure that consists of cutting bone out of your hip which is then shaped into a wedge and inserted by the patella of the bad knee. The object is to take pressure off of the bad knee and help with pain and bad joints. This last week I've been experiencing terrible pain in this knee, especially when it bends or when I sit down or stand up. I read more about the procedure that I had done 11 years ago... I've never really researched it until now, and apparently it is only good for about 10 years and is used instead of a knee replacement when the patient is too young. I wish I was told that information at the time of that surgery. Maybe it's time for a knee replacement... maybe that will solve all my pain issues. I've found a new surgeon and am waiting for the office to call me back so that I can make an appointment.

Past Love

Like millions of people in this country, I am one of those Facebook addicts. Yes, I have an addiction to certain games and I like to see status updates. The thing that I like most about Facebook, however, is being able to reconnect to old friends. Most of the gang from high school is on it, my high school best friend, college friends, and some of the ex-boyfriends that I am still friendly with. It was through Facebook that I found out that one of these exes got married recently. I'm contemplating why this is bothering me. So weird. This guy, who I will call Tyler, I date from age 15 to 18, most of my high school career. Yes, it was high school, but Tyler was 19 when I started dating him, so he was older, out of high school, and we were very much in love. He was the nicest, sweetest guy ever and I will never forgive myself for breaking his heart. Never. What I did was so wrong and he never deserved it. Part of me is in disbelief that it took him 18 years after dating me to get married. I can't believe that someone didn't snatch him up earlier. But I haven't been a part of his life since I was a senior in high school, so I don't know what has happened in his life. Part of me wants to be happy for him that he finally got married. But part of me is bothered by it. I think it just makes me sad because I still beat myself up over how I treated him in the end. Looking at my life now I know that he and I weren't meant to be, but I will always have a special place in my heart for the guy that made me so happy at that time in my life.

The Toughest...

The most difficult parenting task EVER is potty training. I don't care what anyone says, it is awful! This is our second time going through this, and unfortunately we will have one more time in about 3 more years. No matter what you try, each child is different. It is worse than nightime infant feedings, worse than temper tantrums, worse than cleaning up toys time after time. Today we have had the most success with Rilee out of any day- two successes today. Hopefully it will just continue on a postitve route from here!

The Hunt for Baby Doll

Rilee's "baby doll" as she calls her, is missing once again. Her baby is a small stuffed dog with polka dots which she has had since birth. I don't know how many hours I have spent prior to this incident searching for her as she used to hide her. This time, however, I think she's gone for gone. I think that Rilee put her in a bag that went to Goodwill 2 days ago. She had no idea, of course, that the bag was for Goodwill and I never thought about rechecking it. I feel so bad... I know how it feels to lose your lovey and Rilee was crying and crying looking for it earlier. Wish us luck... I hope she is just hidden somewhere.

The Hunger Games

As an avid reader, I can go through a few books a week when time allows. I was recently visiting friends in Iowa and one of them was in the midst of reading "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins and recommended that I read it. Being a young adult fan I was definitely interested. The book reminds me of the short story "The Lottery," which just about everyone is made to read in junior high. This book takes place in the future, with the United States destroyed and what is left of the country split into 12 districts. Each district is required to send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12-18 each year to the "Hunger Games," where the 24 children battle to the death. Such an interesting concept and it was a great book. The second book in the trilogy arrives for me in the mail tomorrow, and I can't wait to start it!

Title

Why Tigerhawks and Shamrocks? Two reasons: first of all, I couldn't come up with ANYTHING for the longest time. When I came up with this, it is because both tigerhawks and shamrocks have special significance to me. A tigerhawk looks like a hawk and is the logo of the Iowa Hawkeyes. I went to the University of Iowa, so this logo has been an important part of my life. I recently got it tattoed on my left leg. As for shamrocks, I have always loved shamrocks and a trip to Ireland with my Mom and Great Aunt was a special time in my life. A shamrock was my first tattoo that I received while I was in college.

Junk

How is it that one can accumulate so much stuff? My Mom's furniture and other posessions that I wanted are finally arriving from Illinois in a week. Because of this, we started going through all of the stuff in our garage that has been moved to Oregon, to Las Vegas, and back to Oregon. Some of it is sentimental stuff from my childhood, some an overabundance of toys, plus a lot of books and other miscelaneous things. I don't have the time or energy for a garage sale, so most of it is being donated. It just sucks to have to go through all of the stuff, but at least it is getting done. Now we will have room for more stuff to temporarily put into the garage until we can sell it.

New Blog

Okay, so this is the third blog that I've started. The first started out okay, the second bombed. It was a matter of me not making the time or effort to spend on writing. Now I am determined... ever since I finally came up with the middle and ending to the novel I am writing (and started a year ago) I vow to write on a daily basis until it is finished. I purchased a new laptop that is geard more towards typing with a smaller keyboard perfect for my hands than my other oversized laptop. Now I have no excuse not to write. I have edited what I had started writing a year ago (20 pages). I have an outline of my novel in my head and I am ready to go. Nothing to hold me back now!