Past Love

Like millions of people in this country, I am one of those Facebook addicts. Yes, I have an addiction to certain games and I like to see status updates. The thing that I like most about Facebook, however, is being able to reconnect to old friends. Most of the gang from high school is on it, my high school best friend, college friends, and some of the ex-boyfriends that I am still friendly with. It was through Facebook that I found out that one of these exes got married recently. I'm contemplating why this is bothering me. So weird. This guy, who I will call Tyler, I date from age 15 to 18, most of my high school career. Yes, it was high school, but Tyler was 19 when I started dating him, so he was older, out of high school, and we were very much in love. He was the nicest, sweetest guy ever and I will never forgive myself for breaking his heart. Never. What I did was so wrong and he never deserved it. Part of me is in disbelief that it took him 18 years after dating me to get married. I can't believe that someone didn't snatch him up earlier. But I haven't been a part of his life since I was a senior in high school, so I don't know what has happened in his life. Part of me wants to be happy for him that he finally got married. But part of me is bothered by it. I think it just makes me sad because I still beat myself up over how I treated him in the end. Looking at my life now I know that he and I weren't meant to be, but I will always have a special place in my heart for the guy that made me so happy at that time in my life.