The Waiting Game

The saying goes... "Good things come to those who wait." I hope this is true! We should know by Monday if my husband is being transferred to Des Moines, Iowa. We've been waiting to hear about this since the beginning of June when the store was announced. As much as we love Portland, family and friends are in Iowa, as well as more affordable housing and an awesome school system. We really need something to go right after a difficult few years, and hopefully this will be it.

Pictures Say...

With the homecoming of my Mom's stuff, we found a bunch of pictures fom 1990 onward. I haven't looked through all of them yet, but wow, what memories they invoke. High school friends, boyfriend, badminton... many good things and special people. Some whom I have kept in touch with, some I haven't. Then there are all the shots of me that I have to wonder why I wore what I wore that day! Awful... what was I thinking? I have to blame it on the fashion at that time, and the wonderful glam music I still so love.

Reminisce

Today the mover's brought all the stuff that my brother and I decided to save from Mom's estate. It was a year ago in April that she passed away. It is nice to have her things... stuff that was special to her and has special meaning to us. Having photos to look through is great too. It's hard though... not a day goes by when that I don't think of her and getting this stuff brought us happy feelings but sad ones as well. I miss her.

Tired

I am tired of people thinking that a stay-at-home Mom does nothing. What gets me is that I have always worked up until February, when I decided to stay at home with my two kids and the third on the way. I have always been the breadwinner, the one who is taking home more money. I am the one who got my husband into the company he's at. Now I'm being told that I do nothing because I stay at home with a 6 year-old, 3year-old, and a 3-month old. This is 2010. Why is there still that double standard, that notion that a woman is no good for anything but childcare... but then is told that childcare is doing nothing? I have 2 college degrees, I have run my own business, but I choose to be with my children? What is wrong with that?

Nutrisystem

I am sick of being fat. I am hoping that trying Nutrisystem will work for me. I need to try something that is already controlled for me because, face it, I love food too much. I've always loved food. But I was active in high school and most of college... in high school I was a size 6 and I know that I will never be a 6 again, but losing 60 lbs. will make me look and feel a lot better. I am a size 14 now and if can get to an 8 I will be really happy. My knee problems have limited my physical activity in the last 10 years. I can do most of P90 with some variation, so I am going to combine that with Nutrisystem and see how it works. I don't know anyone who has tried Nutrisystem so I am going out on a limb here, but hopefully it is well worth the cost- it is damn expensive!

Osteotomy

I've had three knee surgeries on my left knee: 2 athroscopies and an osteotomy. The osteotomy was performed 11 years ago. It's a big procedure that consists of cutting bone out of your hip which is then shaped into a wedge and inserted by the patella of the bad knee. The object is to take pressure off of the bad knee and help with pain and bad joints. This last week I've been experiencing terrible pain in this knee, especially when it bends or when I sit down or stand up. I read more about the procedure that I had done 11 years ago... I've never really researched it until now, and apparently it is only good for about 10 years and is used instead of a knee replacement when the patient is too young. I wish I was told that information at the time of that surgery. Maybe it's time for a knee replacement... maybe that will solve all my pain issues. I've found a new surgeon and am waiting for the office to call me back so that I can make an appointment.

Past Love

Like millions of people in this country, I am one of those Facebook addicts. Yes, I have an addiction to certain games and I like to see status updates. The thing that I like most about Facebook, however, is being able to reconnect to old friends. Most of the gang from high school is on it, my high school best friend, college friends, and some of the ex-boyfriends that I am still friendly with. It was through Facebook that I found out that one of these exes got married recently. I'm contemplating why this is bothering me. So weird. This guy, who I will call Tyler, I date from age 15 to 18, most of my high school career. Yes, it was high school, but Tyler was 19 when I started dating him, so he was older, out of high school, and we were very much in love. He was the nicest, sweetest guy ever and I will never forgive myself for breaking his heart. Never. What I did was so wrong and he never deserved it. Part of me is in disbelief that it took him 18 years after dating me to get married. I can't believe that someone didn't snatch him up earlier. But I haven't been a part of his life since I was a senior in high school, so I don't know what has happened in his life. Part of me wants to be happy for him that he finally got married. But part of me is bothered by it. I think it just makes me sad because I still beat myself up over how I treated him in the end. Looking at my life now I know that he and I weren't meant to be, but I will always have a special place in my heart for the guy that made me so happy at that time in my life.

The Toughest...

The most difficult parenting task EVER is potty training. I don't care what anyone says, it is awful! This is our second time going through this, and unfortunately we will have one more time in about 3 more years. No matter what you try, each child is different. It is worse than nightime infant feedings, worse than temper tantrums, worse than cleaning up toys time after time. Today we have had the most success with Rilee out of any day- two successes today. Hopefully it will just continue on a postitve route from here!

The Hunt for Baby Doll

Rilee's "baby doll" as she calls her, is missing once again. Her baby is a small stuffed dog with polka dots which she has had since birth. I don't know how many hours I have spent prior to this incident searching for her as she used to hide her. This time, however, I think she's gone for gone. I think that Rilee put her in a bag that went to Goodwill 2 days ago. She had no idea, of course, that the bag was for Goodwill and I never thought about rechecking it. I feel so bad... I know how it feels to lose your lovey and Rilee was crying and crying looking for it earlier. Wish us luck... I hope she is just hidden somewhere.

The Hunger Games

As an avid reader, I can go through a few books a week when time allows. I was recently visiting friends in Iowa and one of them was in the midst of reading "The Hunger Games" by Suzanne Collins and recommended that I read it. Being a young adult fan I was definitely interested. The book reminds me of the short story "The Lottery," which just about everyone is made to read in junior high. This book takes place in the future, with the United States destroyed and what is left of the country split into 12 districts. Each district is required to send one boy and one girl between the ages of 12-18 each year to the "Hunger Games," where the 24 children battle to the death. Such an interesting concept and it was a great book. The second book in the trilogy arrives for me in the mail tomorrow, and I can't wait to start it!

Title

Why Tigerhawks and Shamrocks? Two reasons: first of all, I couldn't come up with ANYTHING for the longest time. When I came up with this, it is because both tigerhawks and shamrocks have special significance to me. A tigerhawk looks like a hawk and is the logo of the Iowa Hawkeyes. I went to the University of Iowa, so this logo has been an important part of my life. I recently got it tattoed on my left leg. As for shamrocks, I have always loved shamrocks and a trip to Ireland with my Mom and Great Aunt was a special time in my life. A shamrock was my first tattoo that I received while I was in college.

Junk

How is it that one can accumulate so much stuff? My Mom's furniture and other posessions that I wanted are finally arriving from Illinois in a week. Because of this, we started going through all of the stuff in our garage that has been moved to Oregon, to Las Vegas, and back to Oregon. Some of it is sentimental stuff from my childhood, some an overabundance of toys, plus a lot of books and other miscelaneous things. I don't have the time or energy for a garage sale, so most of it is being donated. It just sucks to have to go through all of the stuff, but at least it is getting done. Now we will have room for more stuff to temporarily put into the garage until we can sell it.

New Blog

Okay, so this is the third blog that I've started. The first started out okay, the second bombed. It was a matter of me not making the time or effort to spend on writing. Now I am determined... ever since I finally came up with the middle and ending to the novel I am writing (and started a year ago) I vow to write on a daily basis until it is finished. I purchased a new laptop that is geard more towards typing with a smaller keyboard perfect for my hands than my other oversized laptop. Now I have no excuse not to write. I have edited what I had started writing a year ago (20 pages). I have an outline of my novel in my head and I am ready to go. Nothing to hold me back now!